Oh, You Weren't Kidding

So I'm sorry I laughed when you said
that there's a lump in your titty and soon you'll be dead
It's the sort of prank you pull and for what it's worth
the tears on your cheeks could have sprung out of mirth

When your dog was run down by the Wienermobile
What could I have thought but it wasn't for real
as the schism between us grows broader each day
You're always so deadpan why didn't you say
you were serious?

You encountered that body up Four Mile Creek
the time you went hiking alone for a week
Come back all trembling shook up like a leaf
I mistook your exhaustion for uncontained glee
no, you were serious

When your aunt Doris got mad cow disease
When your nephew was stung by five hundred bees
Or when your ex came down with genital warts
r'when you told me some planes had crashed into New York
When your boss died beating off with his neck in a noose
Or when you witnessed that camper get stomped by a moose
Or the blind man that walked straight off of a pier
How could I have guessed, it wasn't all clear

So you were totally serious, now I know now I see
When you said that you no longer had feelings for me
At first I was hurt, but now I see, now I know
I can never be with someone who can't take a joke